COMEDY TICKETS to top NYC SHOWS – Discounts

COMEDY TICKETS to top NYC SHOWS

QUICK LINKS

HOW TO USE THIS RESOURCE: Click on the club name for view calendar of shows. Select the date and click on the time of show you wish to attend. Select the discounted ticket options in blue. Always call the club to get on their reservation list (Especially on Weekends). Arrive 30-minutes early for seating. Most clubs are general admission with first come / first serve seating. Some clubs may even give your seats away if you do not arrive on time. If you show up at show time, it is possible you will not be seated.

 

COMEDY TICKETS to top NYC SHOWS

 

COMEDY TICKETS

The Village Comedy Scene is full of college students, hipsters and the tourists that love them. GVCC is a small intimate club. There is not a bad seat in the house with just 70 to choose. Amazing comics every night of the week. ALWAYS ARRIVE EARLY. This club fills up fast and you don’t want to be crammed into the corners.

  • CLICK HERE for full calendar of shows and purchase discount COMEDY TICKETS.
  • CALL 212-777-LAFF (5233) to reserve your seats.
  • Arrive at least 30 minutes early.
  • THERE IS A TWO DRINK MINIMUM PER GUEST

99 MACDOUGAL STREET
NEW YORK, NY 10014

Near West 4th Street Subway, Just south of Washington Square Park. Just north of Houston Street. Surrounded by Theaters, Restaurants and Bars for before and after show festivities.

 

 

COMEDY TICKETS

Broadway Comedy Club: Shawn Wayans

Popular to both tourists and locals, the Broadway Comedy Club is just 1 block from the Colbert Show at 318 West 53rd Street, just west of 8th Avenue. They feature professional comedy every night of the week at 9 & 11pm. $20-25pp at the door. $5 ($10 Saturday shows) via NY COMEDY TICKETS. Most shows sell out so definitely arrive early. A few seats for late comers may have limited partial view of stage.

  • CLICK HERE for full calendar of shows and discount COMEDY TICKETS.
  • CALL 212-757-2323 to reserve your seats
  • Arrive at least 30 minutes early.
  • THERE IS A TWO DRINK MINIMUM PER GUEST

Broadway Comedy Club
318 West 53rd Street 
New York NY 10019

Between 8th 9th Ave; Near all Columbus Circle & Times Square trains. Closest to A, C, E at 50th street; Short walk from dozens of top NYC hotels and 100s of restaurants in Theater District and Hells Kitchen.

 

COMEDY TICKETS

LMImprovAO OFF BROADWAY

Saturdays 8pm the laughs are non-stop when the cast of LMAO (a division of EIGHT IS NEVER ENOUGH) takes the stage. 4-5 comics create original music and skits on the spot using topics provided by the audience. No two shows are ever the same. Many of you may end up on stage as part of the action so COME BE A PART OF THE SHOW!!!

ON THE SPOT NYCImprov

 

MONDAYS 8pm

What is ON THE SPOT? Top NYC singer break out into song with some of the best cabaret in town. After each selection, Improv players from the cast of LMAO break into scenes based on the previous music’s title, theme, and lyrics. By end result is an original musical comedy the cast ties together with a big closing number.

HAPPY HOUR SHOWCASESImprov

The schedule varies, the teams rotate, the shows are never the same, but these early bird comedy shows always deliver. Usually featuring long-form improv comedy (entire shows based on a single suggestion), the happy hour showcases feel like off-off Broadway’s best 1-act and short play festivals, but with better writing. Some shows will feature guest comics and musical acts. Check the calendar for full schedule.

IMPROV 4 KIDSimprov

Saturdays 3pm are not just for kids. These shows are the all ages version of LMAO. “4 Kids” is just to let you know it is OK to bring yours.

The cast gets suggestions from the kids to create original songs and skits. Many children – and a few parents – will get on stage to interact with the pros.

 

FUNNY PHOTO: BEWARE OF FALLING DEER

funny

Teacher is Going to Hell: Learning from Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.Teacher

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, ‘When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah’.

The teacher asked, ‘What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, ‘Then you ask him’.

*********************

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while theyGOD
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.

The girl replied, ‘I’m drawing God.’

The teacher paused and said, ‘But no one knows what God looks like.’

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
‘They will in a minute.’

*********************

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to ‘honour’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

*********************

GrannyOne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, ‘Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?’

Her mother replied, ‘Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.’

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
‘Mummy, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?’

*********************

RIPThe children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

‘Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ‘And there’s the teacher,
she’s dead.’

 

*********************

FeetA teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.’

‘Yes,’ the class said.

‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’

A little fellow shouted, ‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.’

*********************

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

‘Take only ONE . God is watching.’Cookies

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples.’

 

Goofy Wisdom?

Man v Woman humor

Man v Woman humor

Philosophy of Man never made more sense

If a Man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman to hear… is he still wrong? Pondering minds want to know… or do they?

Man v Woman

Of course if the same man farts in the woods, and this guy has a malfunctioning sniffer, does it smell? Loved this funny meme / picture / sign the second I stumbled across it. When in doubt guys, always remember to admit you are wrong. Happy wife, happy life, right? Be a real man, and cower to the ladies! There is no shame in keeping the gals happy via humbleness and humility.

Parody of the famous, and way over-used saying…

FROM WIKIIf a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” is a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality.

Philosopher George Berkeley, in his work, A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge (1710), proposes, “But, say you, surely there is nothing easier than for me to imagine trees, for instance, in a park […] and nobody by to perceive them.[1] […] The objects of sense exist only when they are perceived; the trees therefore are in the garden […] no longer than while there is somebody by to perceive them.”[2] (It is worth noting that the quote from section 45 is arguably a statement of an objection to Berkeley’s view, and not a proclamation of it.) Nevertheless, Berkeley never actually wrote about the question.

I personally find it very arrogant of man, any man, to say something exists only if someone perceives it through one of the senses. Things exist long before we are aware.

 

Perfect mug for any husband

Perfect

Perfect mug for any husband

Hold your wife’s hand

in the mall because if you let go, she’ll start shopping.

It looks romantic

But it’s actually

ECONOMIC

Funny Meme: Star Wars v Science from Reel Quotes Sketch on Saturday Night Live

Funny Meme: Star Wars v Science

Funny scene with Bill Hader and Charles Barkley

Who said sports stars can’t be funny. Paired with funny man, Bill Hader, you can’t go wrong! Although Star Wars Geeks may go crazy with his answer in this Saturday Night Live sketch…

funny

 

Follow ABSENT MINDED COMEDY on Twitter @abmindedcomedy

 

Batman loses to a bull but beats Superman

 

Ah, Stupid People Talking

Dogs always chasing tail – cute & funny cartoons, photos and memes

Cats get the last word...

Cats get the last word…